4e Pensée: The Timeless Ritual of Toasting - A Celebration of Life, Love, and Memory
a birthday toast at my home - 5 October, 2024
There is something profound - almost magical about the act of raising a glass. It is a simple gesture, yet it carries within it the weight of centuries, the echo of countless voices, and the promise of shared joy. Whether it is done in grand feasting halls, candlelit bistros, or intimate gatherings among close friends, the toast is a universal human tradition—an act that transforms the ordinary into something meaningful. It is a moment of unity, of celebration, of remembrance. It is the clinking of past and present, the sound of glass against glass reverberating across time.
A toast is more than mere words. It is a poetic pause, a way of honoring both the people around us and the fleeting nature of the moment itself. Whether it is whispered over a quiet dinner or proclaimed with jubilant laughter at a wedding, it stands as a testament to our shared experience of life. It is a moment that, much like a fine wine, deepens with age and meaning, lingering in memory long after the glasses have been emptied.
Hemingway captured this sentiment best in A Moveable Feast, where the act of drinking wine was never just about the wine—it was about what the moment meant. It was about savoring Paris, savoring friendship, savoring life itself.
A Symphony of Toasts Across Cultures
No matter where in the world one finds oneself, the raising of a glass is a familiar, comforting tradition, each culture lending its own unique voice to the ritual. In France, a land where wine and philosophy intermingle like old friends, one lifts a glass with a simple yet elegant “À votre santé!” or simply, “Santé!”—a wish for health that carries with it all the refinement of a Bordeaux vintage. The French, who have long mastered the art of savoring life, understand that a well-timed toast is as important as the wine itself. One does not rush a moment of appreciation.
Across the English-speaking world, “Cheers!” rings out with a bright, buoyant warmth. It is a word that carries no pretense, no heavy expectation—only a joyful invitation to celebrate. It is a toast heard in pubs, as in Shakespeare’s comedies, where feasts are filled with jest and mirth, where cups are raised high in the glow of flickering candlelight. “Cheers!” is the sound of camaraderie, the friendly exclamation that turns strangers into companions and an ordinary evening into something to be remembered.
In Spain, the call of “¡Salud!” rises above the din of tapas bars and lively family gatherings, a toast that, like the Spanish spirit itself, is passionate and full of life. In Italy, where every meal is an expressive aria to good company, one hears “Salute!”—a toast that sings of abundance, of laughter, of the enduring joy of sharing food and drink with those who matter most.
Venturing to Germany, the clink of glasses is accompanied by the hearty and resolute “Prost!”—a word that feels as strong as the beers of Bavaria or the wines of the Rhineland. “Prost” captures the essence of German hospitality: straightforward, sincere, and always welcoming. It is a toast that rings with the joy of a long freundschaft - friendship, of laughter shared after a day of hard work, of moments that are as solid and enduring as the oak barrels that age the wines and beers in the region. To exclaim “Prost!” with wine glass or bier stein in hand is to affirm both the moment and the people with whom you share it.
Venture farther still - to the East, in Japan, a glass of warm saké is lifted with a spirited “Kanpai!”, a phrase that literally means "empty the glass" but which, like all great toasts, carries more meaning than its translation suggests. “Kanpai” - to “empty the glass” therefore is an invitation to allow yourself to be filled: to be fully present, to engage completely in the moment. It is as crisp and precise as a perfectly composed haiku, and in its brevity, it embodies an entire philosophy: Drink deeply, cherish this moment, for it will never come again.
These toasts—whether spoken in the grand halls of Europe, the intimate izakayas of Japan, the vibrant tavernas of the Mediterranean, a family’s dinner table in Italy, the wild fraternity houses in America—are a testament to the enduring human desire to connect, to celebrate, and to acknowledge that life, in all its beauty and imperfection, is worthy of raising a glass. As Humphrey Bogart in the character Rick slyly remarked to Ingrid Bergman’s Ilsa in the 1942 film Casablanca, "Here's looking at you, kid," it's both film noir nostalgia, a poignant farewell, and a colorful hope-filled yearning implying a lasting connection and a shared memory of their love in the midst of a world conflict and the conflict each had within.
The Wedding Toast: A Drink to Love and Forever
Of all the occasions in which a toast takes center stage, few are as significant as the wedding toast. Here, the words spoken carry a different weight—a blessing, a hope, a promise. In the presence of gathered friends and family, glasses are raised not just to the couple but to the very idea of love itself.
Shakespeare, ever the poet of romance, knew the power of words spoken over wine. In Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick, a man once sworn against love, finally admits:
"I do love nothing in the world so well as you—is not that strange?"
And is that not the heart of every wedding toast? The recognition that love, in all its beautiful unpredictability, is the grandest adventure of them all. In these moments, the toast becomes more than a ritual—it is an offering - a prayer. A promise that those gathered bear witness to love’s journey, that they will support it as the years pass, just as the finest wines are supported by time itself.
I look back to the moment I stood up as the best man at my friend’s wedding to deliver such a toast. I remember the quiet mix of emotions swirling inside me—pride, joy, and a little bit of nervousness. There I was, in that banquet hall, surrounded by friends and family, as a hush fell and I was tasked with summing up a lifetime of memories and wishes for the future in just a few words. As I looked at my best friend since childhood, I felt the weight of it all—the history we’d shared, the laughter, the late-night talks, and now this moment, where he stood on the threshold of something so beautiful beyond words. But in that brief instant, it wasn’t just about the words. It was about honoring the bond we’d built and celebrating the incredible journey ahead for him and his wife. In the art of raising my glass, I realized it was less about getting the perfect speech right, and more about sharing a piece of my heart, a gift of love, as they stepped into their new life together. The nerves faded, replaced by the overwhelming feeling that I was witnessing something profoundly special.
In France, a wedding toast might be made with an elegant glass of Champagne, its festive golden bubbles rising like joyful spirits. In Italy, a crisp, refreshing Prosecco dances in delicate flutes in exuberant joy. No matter the culture, the message is the same: May this love endure, may it deepen, may it be as rich and full as the wine in our glasses.
The Parting Glass: A Toast to Farewell
Just as a glass is raised to new beginnings, so too is it raised to farewells. A parting toast is perhaps the most bittersweet of all, a moment where words are wrapped in nostalgia, where a simple clink of glasses can hold within it a thousand unspoken sentiments.
The Irish, poets at heart, have long understood the sorrow and beauty of goodbye. Their traditional song, The Parting Glass, speaks of friendship, of memory, of the lingering ache of departure:
"Oh, all the comrades that e’er I had
Are sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts that e’er I had,
Would wish me one more day to stay.
…So fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate’er befall,
And gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all”
I remember partaking in that song with my classmates with glass in hand during the 2020 Pandemic after we were told that the graduation ceremony was cancelled that year and instructed to unceremoniously return home. To drink from the parting glass is to acknowledge that though time or isolation may separate us, memory and friendship endure, whate’er befall. It is to raise a glass with the understanding that every farewell carries within it the promise of reunion.
A Final Reflection: The Poetry of a Toast
A toast is at the same a moment within and outside of time. It is the brief pause - an intentional acknowledgement before the sip, the reflection before the indulgence. It is a tradition that stretches across history and culture, connecting us to all who have ever raised a glass before us. It is a habit of poets, a practice of philosophers, a pastime of lovers and friends alike.
The next time you find yourself with a glass of wine in hand, whether in the company of old friends or in quiet solitude, take a moment before you drink. Raise your glass, let the timeless words—Santé! Cheers! Salud! Salute! Kanpai! Prost! in whatever language—fall from your lips: in that instant, you are part of something greater than yourself. It is a quiet act of defiance against the fleeting nature of time. It is an affirmation that we are here, that we are together - at least in memory, that we celebrate not only what is but all that is yet to come.
So, to love, to friendship, to moments shared, and to journeys yet taken—raise your glass high. Santé!